THE FUTURE OF WORK IS HUMAN
March 7, 2018
HAPPY WORKPLACE WELLNESS DAY!
April 13, 2018

UNDERSTANDING RELATIONSHIPS AT WORK

When I meet people around issues in their work, I often find that in fact, they aren’t talking about difficulties with the actual work but instead, how they are relating and engaging with other staff members.

Often we will notice that another colleague may find someone really easy to deal with whereas another cannot work with them at all or finds them really difficult to work with. This may well be due to the fact that they may remind them of someone else and so how they felt about this other relationship is impinging on really seeing this colleague.

Sometimes, people have difficulties with an authority figure such as their manager and with further discussion, it may transpire that that in fact their difficulties stem from an issue that hasn’t been addressed with a parental figure. We all bring aspects of our earlier relationships, especially significant early relationships to our current encounters and if can be very helpful to unravel some of the threads so as to find ways to relate better with our colleagues or managers. A recent example of this was a woman who is highly successful and competent in her field who became quite nervous and inarticulate when having to meet with her boss. She found she just wasn’t able to cope with meeting him and lost sleep before any of her meetings with him. Quite quickly, these difficulties lessened once she started to look at where her behaviour was stemming from and how she might approach him differently with her new insights.

Other examples I have encountered recently are of a highly competent and able manager in a busy firm unable to delegate to his staff. When we spoke further about this, he was able to identify that in fact this woman was a very strong and sometimes volatile person and that she actually reminded him of his mother!

He found it helpful to identify this and recognised that whilst he was carrying over issues from his past, it was helpful to be aware of this and use the opportunity to actually move on from this in his life.

If we gain clarity in our relationships and learn to observe how current relationships may be triggering us due to remants of a previous one we will be better able to deal with our colleagues and managers and be more effective in our daily

When I meet people around issues in their work, I often find that in fact, they aren’t talking about difficulties with the actual work but instead, how they are relating and engaging with other staff members.

Often we will notice that another colleague may find someone really easy to deal with whereas another cannot work with them at all or finds them really difficult to work with. This may well be due to the fact that they may remind them of someone else and so how they felt about this other relationship is impinging on really seeing this colleague.